Saturday 19 October 2013

5 tips for dealing with grief away from home

Everyone experiences grief in their lifetime. A loss of a family member of friend is a terrible time in someone's life, and experiencing it away from home can make the grieving process even more challenging. However, there steps you can take to make the stages of grief a little easier.




1. Take time off, but don't isolate yourself 
You may not feel like going to that party, society social, or even watching a movie with your housemates - but don't shut yourself away entirely. Your friends and lecturers will understand that you are hurting, but they want to help you. Even just having a cup of tea at breakfast time and letting people know you are ok helps.

2. Channel your anger positively
The second stage in the grieving process is anger. This anger may be directed towards inanimate objects, friends or family. Although many people understand you may not mean to take your anger out in them, someone unaware of the situation may not be as understanding. Try channeling your anger and turning it into positive activities. Hobbies such as instrument playing or physical activity can help, and even watching a film to release some of those pent up tears can make you feel better - even if it's just for a moment.

3. Live for today, not for yesterday
You may be able to come up with a million reasons as to how the death could have been avoided, but dwelling on them will not change anything: it will only make you feel more sad and angry. "What if..." is the dreaded phrase here, and acceptance is the only answer.

4. Surround yourself with happiness
Depression is linked very closely with grief and loss, be careful not to be overwhelmed. Keep focusing on goals when making funeral plans, or even just on how to make it through the day. Don't feel bad when you smile or laugh - the person you love will be happy to know that you miss them, but are not losing out on your own life.

5. Don't feel guilty
Spending time with other friends and relatives of the one you lost can help - sharing memories and funny moments with those helps you to remember them as they were, which is all you need to do. 

All in all, do whatever you can to make it through til the end. People are there to help you, not hinder you. Let then help you - the process will only get easier with time.

In memory of my dear friend Dave Riley - missed everyday, but never forgotten xxx





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